


The Stallion in Itallian

by BuffyRowan



Series: Fabulicious and the Italian Stallion [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Hotch really doesn't want to know, curious Garcia, plotting Garcia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 22:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuffyRowan/pseuds/BuffyRowan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garcia found it</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stallion in Itallian

**Author's Note:**

> The magazine mentioned is completely fictional. The title translates to "Masterpieces"

"What--!?" Emily barely had a chance to protest before Garcia dragged her into JJ's office. JJ obviously wasn't in on whatever it was, because she looked surprised to see them. 

"Sorry, JJ, but needed somewhere my delicious chocolate muffin doesn't wander by randomly." Wherever she'd gone to lunch, Garcia had come back wired, she was practically bouncing in place. "Emily, you read Italian, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Emily wasn't entirely certain she wanted to get caught up in whatever prank the blonde had cooking.

"So, I was looking into Rossi's past, and I found something And I bought a copy, to give to Derek, and it came today! But before I give it, I want to know what it says." Garcia stopped babbling and pulled a padded mailing envelope out of her purse. JJ moved to join them, curiosity getting the better of her work ethic for a moment. Garcia looked furtively around, like a child checking to see if mom was looking. She slid a magazine out of the mailer. The paper and photo style made Emily think 1970's or so, before the image and title registered.

JJ giggled, "What is this, the Italian version of Playgirl?"

Now Emily was the one checking over her shoulder, "Why on earth do you have an issue of _Capolavori _, and what do you need translated? The articles aren't exactly the point in these magazines."__

"This," Gracia flipped it open to the centerfold, "Is why I bought it. I think there's an interview on the next page, that's why I need a translator." 

"Oh my god, is that--" JJ cut herself off, moving both to get a better look and to better hide the magazine from view of the door. The centerfold model was none other than David Rossi, himself. He looked to be maybe twenty, and was almost wearing a US Marine Corps uniform. And though Emily told herself sternly not to, she couldn't help but check out the focal point of the photograph, which turned into a serious study. "Did they airbrush this?"

Garcia shook her head, "If it's the, ah, proportions you're wondering about, it's no camera trick. I've seen corroborating evidence that it really is as seen on TV."

_That _brought Emily and JJ's attention back to their friend. They exchanged a glance, then looked back at Garcia. Emily took lead on the interrogation, "And what evidence would that be?" Garcia mumbled something quickly, looking anywhere but at their eyes. "I'm sorry, try that again, a little louder."__

__"I said, the security feed from Derek's office."_ _

__JJ shook her head, "How would video from Derek's office--"_ _

__Emily's eyes widened, figuring out the connection a nanosecond before JJ did, "They _didn't _! In his office? But they haven't both worked late the same night except when the whole team was here, usually working on a profile, or right after a case."___ _

____Garcia giggled and leaned in, stage whispering, "Actually, it was an afternoon delight kind of thing. Remember when Rossi got back from that book tour a couple months ago?"_ _ _ _

____"JJ, could you--" Hotch's voice cut through their giggles as all three whirled to face the door. His eyes moved between all three women, taking in their expressions and the aborted attempts to hide the magazine without calling attention to it. They held their collective breath, waiting for him to ask the inevitable, but Hotch shook his head, "I don't want to know. Just, when you get the chance, I have a couple questions. Now I'm going back to my office to forget I ever saw the three of you conspiring. What I don't know about, I have plausible deniability for when Strauss asks."_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm 90% sure that Dave violated the military dress code, but he was young and dumb. And the photographer was probably cute ;-)


End file.
